Here, Eat This! The Adventures of Kiki Maraschino

We used to make fun of my Canadian grandmother for coming down to the states and going on long soliloquies about the price of peas. When one of us was on a particularly impassioned rant about something dull, the rest of us would tease them by inquiring about the price of peas. But nowadays grocery shopping IS interesting.

I was so excited to see the shining new Fresh & Easy just down the street from my house. When I was in England I found the grocery stores made more sense to me, both in layout and selection. Of course it was too much to hope they could kick me down some Heinz Baked beans or Tetley Tea. But I knew they would have lots of ready-to-cook options and I haven’t been cooking much.

Fresh flowers at the doorway were a good sign. Yams so spoiled that they were bursting and turning to liquid, swarming with fruit flies, was a very bad sign. They must have gone unchecked for days to that to happen. But, these things happen, and so onward. Their fresh-cut fruit was at the peak of ripeness and looked beautiful.

They had lots of what I expected to find, these little instant meals that far surpass American instants in flavor, and more Indian flavors. You can buy them already cooked or ready-to-cook.

Besides the ready-to-cook meals, and Indian flavors, there was a wider variety of dried beans and whole grains, which alone would bring me back.

There were a few other signs of British influence, like more fresh lamb. I do have to confess that some of the meats were just not the right color. The sausages and ribs I bought expired two days after I purchased them and had to be thrown away. In the market I had heard someone explaining to an upset customer, “We are a new store, so we don’t have enough clientele, but the computer orders more automatically.” Still, that’s no excuse. Send me through that meat section and the veg with a big trash bag and problem solved.

They did kick me down one Brit giftie…English bacon!

I like the check-yourself-out kiosks because they have a little cartoon version of me showing my movements. And that version is thin and attractive. I still managed to walk out without paying in spite of the cool virtual me because I was so chatty with the employee.

I did return to pay, and I will say that I expected 4 dinners, a week of lunches, some snacks and the usual to be about 40 bucks more than it was. (I haven’t deducted the meat I had to throw away.) I will return for some items, like their delicious hummus, but I’ll avoid the meat aisle until they have built up a bigger clientele.

As I drove home, I was calculating the savings in my head, and tallying up my booty. In my count I realized there were frozen peas in the grocery bag. So grandma, where ever you are up there, I am carrying on the tradition.

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1 sandpail

fill 1/3 way with decorative (washed) rocks

Cut out florists dry foam into shape of pail and wrap with a lot of cling wrap.

Stuff florists foam into pail, leaving about 3″ at the top.

Push in pinwheel into center of the foam until it hits the rocks.

Surround with assorted lollies, especially Yummy Earth Organic Lollipops.

Fill to the top with a few inches of M&Ms, Skittles, or Jelly Bellies.

(You could try using a smaller container and use a big swirl lolly as
the center, and arrange only your lollies around the bottom. Or go
even smaller and only use little lollies and fill the flowerpot with
colored sugar)

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So if you ever have to go to the doctor a lot, Cedar Sinai is the place to go. They are at the epicenter of good restaurants and shopping. I went shopping for a cozy duvet cover after a rough appointment (Westin’s Heavenly Rest is nice, but 200 bucks. Hotel brand is more like $350 for queen size). I closed the stores down and went home empty-handed

After such a long day I thought I needed Animal’s oxtail poutine. I dropped in late without a reservation, and luckily scored a table. When I placed my order and I was told they were out of poutine I was lost. My head swam. Sensing this, the server left to give me more time. It had just been such a stressy day it was the final straw. I turned my face to the wall and wept. I felt so stupid crying in public. One of the waiters came back and coddled me, which made me feel much better.

I decided to comfort myself with marrow, pig’s ear and foie gras. There is really no better consolation in the world. As I opened my mouth to order Miso-cured foie, the server said, “Oh, and we’re out of the Miso-cured foie.” Imagine that movie shot where they pan back while sumultaneously making the camera do a close-up with me going, “Nooooooooooooooooo!”

But they had a second foie on the menu, so I decided to be a big girl and accept a minor change. I ordered the marrow and their trippy Foie Gras, Biscuit with Maple-cured Gravy. It was a dish that could go terribly wrong, but if they had the balls to serve it, I had the balls to try it.

Not only was the foie cooked to perfection, but the maple added that touch of sweetness that foie needs without being cloying. There was a spicy-hot sausage in the rich gravy that added a little spark. Then as the final coup de gras, the biscuit was the fluffiest, most heavenly biscuit I have ever tried. And I am a seeker of the perfect angel biscuit.

It was so good that when the sever asked if I would like another iced tea, I said, “Yes, and another foie gras please.” It was worth it for the look in her eyes for the second before she regained her composure. I figured, what the hell, why not live like it’s my last week because you just never know.

Normally marrow is almost liquified with a thin fatty skin on it. Their marrow was like custard through and through. The use of Chimichurri instad of the standard parsley was a stroke of genius.

The crab’s legs were fresh and doused with melted butter that had been spiked with chili. A harbinger of the fire to come.

Pig’s ear with chili and lime was topped with a fried egg. I was curious to see if the ear would be chewy like in Paris, or gelatinous like in Monterey Park. It was neither. It was more like shredded beef jerky, with a fatty carnitas-style fry. It was extremely fiery and I would prefer it as a bar snack with a cold beer.

I learned my lesson. Always make a reservation at Animal. Don’t slip in as they are closing or they will run out of dishes. (And although Heavenly Rest is all-white and rarely on sale, Hotel Brand changes styles every season and can be bought on clearance for 100 bucks at Macy’s).

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Where else can you find this fantastic combo of plastic food and charming misspelling but in beautiful downtown LA? At 3am.

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I have to thank Jennifer for introducing me to Menchies. I resisted at first, thinking it would be another sour Pinkberry ripoff. But now I’m an addict. Menchies has a wall of frozen yogurt disensers, kind of like those French Quarter Daquiri houses.

Every flavor has easily identifiable labels to let you know if the flavor is kosher, nonfat, sugar-free, if it has a criminal record, and whether or not it is still a virgin.

It’s do-it-yourself and they have an unlimited supply of taster cups. You can fill up on testers alone.

The flavors are delicious, ranging from the rich and creamy to the Pinkberry sour and from the familar standards to the exotic.

There is a wealth of toppings to choose from, including fresh fruit and a surprisingly sugar-free chocolate syrup. You would never know.

When you are all done, they charge you by weight. It’s a fun, interactive experience to share with a friend, giggling and asking, “Oh my God, Did you taste the Dulce de Leche?”

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if you are a regular reader, my love for Rivera should come as no surprise to you. In addition to the delectable food, Rivera boasts some of the best cocktails in town. Mixologist Julian Cox was turned off by artificially-colored syrupy cocktails and found inspiration in the use of fresh ingredients by Comme Ca and Milk and Honey.

Cox worked his way up at Comme Ca and honed his craft at Sona. In January 2009 he worked with John Sedlar Rivera who was opening up his Pan-Latin hotspot downtown. Rivera was already making his own tequila and tequila infusions, and Julian added his special cocktails to the party. He became known for his signature drink, Blood Sugar Sex Magic. In addition to Rivera, Cox is currently opening Las Perlas with downtown maven Cedd Moses.

At Rising Stars I watched Julian carefully craft his specialty cocktail. I did a double-take when I saw that his garnish was a piece of beef jerky. I looked at him, and he said, “Barbacoa.” The Barbacoa is an unusual mixture of lime, ginger syrup, chipotle puree, red bell pepper and tequila.

My only response? “You’re a madman.”

Receiving his award from John Sedlar Rivera:

I caught up with Julian on another night at Rivera:

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