Here, Eat This! The Adventures of Kiki Maraschino

During DineLA week(S) DineLA Fortnight? we sampled a number of restaurants, some undercover and some at the invitation of the restaurant. Sometimes being fawned over is an embarassing pain in the ass, and sometimes it is very pleasing, although a lady tries not to gloat. Being a guest of honor at Rivera is right up there in the Queen for a Day category.

When I found out we were dining with the PR person, I was a little concerned it was going to be like a Time Share seminar. But Rivera’s PR is an excellent and fun dining companion. She is a good listener and teased stories out of our childhood that we hadn’t thought of in years — discovering the coincidence of a shared memory of picking wild raspberries along the dirt alleys of Vancouver.

My epiphany

You think the reason people like escargot is because it is soaked in butter and garlic. You can soak horseshit in butter and garlic and people will eat it. Rivera’s snails, which are a result of his childhood housekeeper cooking live snails in wine and garlic and an idea culled from a stint at L’Ermitage don’t mask the flavor of the snail but accentuate the earthy, nutty taste of the garden. I waited for that moment when the Spanish wine and Iberico ham sauce dissipated and the true icky nature of the snail would reveal itself, but instead I found my mouth seeking out more flavor, wanting it and savoring it. It made me consider collecting snails after the next rain and cooking them skewered over an open fire to try their pure charred essence.

The Piquillos Rellenos (Stuffed Spanish Peppers, Chorizo, Golden Raisins, Gruyere), combines the sweet and savory to perfection. The chile is not so hot as to be a challenge, and I seriously think I could eat these all night long.

Then there was just so much food coming at me I became overwhelmed, beets, and a salad, and striped bass that came with a horrible story told with a little mischevious gusto by the chef. The standouts at this point were a side dish of delectable and sweet carrot puree with pumpkin pie spices, and an entree of insanely plump scallops with middle eastern flavors like preserved lemon and eggplant. There is a stringy tendon that runs through sea scallops, and at some point in the meal you are expecting to hit that chewy bit. The scallops were so well cleaned they were meaty and silky right through from beginning to end. It may seem like an obscure detail, but these details are what separate the good from the truly great.

Then I was invited into the kitchen to take pictures and ran completely rampant, climbing up on a ladder and praying that I didn’t lose an earring in the panna cottas as they waited for the oven. I didn’t care about the tender steak, or the flavorful duck, or even the cake. All I wanted to do was get my shot. I was in a photographing frenzy.

Finally I was led back to the table and the only thing to settle me down was the cheese plate and the Estudio en Flan. Was that caramel? Dulce de leche? Sooo goood. We ended the night with John Sedlar Rivera’s private bottle of tequila on our table, feeling like the VIPPiest VIPs ever.

But the true gift of the night wasn’t the private reserve tequila, or the storytelling, or the free reign in the kitchen. It was opening my eyes to the fact that many of the animals and squishy parts I have eaten only out of curiosity before can be celebrated and do not need to be coated in butter and garlic for me to enjoy them. There is a whole new world of little creatures for me to enjoy! They better start running.

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Glamour was the order of the evening at Bouchon’s opening event Monday night. After ascending the staircase, we were greeted by servers offering champagne near a caviar station with caviar quenelle and whipped cream cheese-topped bagel crisps surrounding the biggest ice volleyball in the world.

Gliding down the elegant hallway, we came across a full bar on the right serving Bouchon’s signature drink of Grey Goose vodka, Lillet Blanc, and Brizard Peche with an Orange Baton/Lemon Twist. A raw bar around the corner was shucking oysters at lightning speed.

Chef Thomas Keller

The room is reminiscent of a bistro, but on a grander scale. Whimsical murals line the walls and high ceilings keep the rococco touches from overwhelming the eye.

The use of space for the event was practical and imaginative, with cheese and charcuterie being offered in the main dining room, hot appetizers in the kitchen, and cookies in the prep room. The only space that was not being used were the walk-in freezers, but quite a few people were peeking. It was fun to hang around the back corridors where the sommelier was offering a tasting. To add to the fun, there was a bake-your-own-bread station where they taught you to snip leaves of dough with scissors, forming beautiful baguettes.

The raw bar offered oysters, shrimp, clams, and mussels. The Beau Soleil oysters were ruffled, like in The Walrus and the Carpenter, and they tasted briny but clean. They went down gently with a dose of mignonette sauce. You know you are in a great hall of gastronomie when the shrimp cocktail is getting the least attention.

The charcuterie table held an inviting array of salami, pickled vegetables, marinated olives, tapenade and olivade, Pate de Campagne and toasted breads. The cheese table was laden with a selection of imported cheeses including Red Hawk and Fourme d’Ambert to enjoy with fresh Bouchon breads.

But in spite of the high quality, these were all cold apps — where was Thomas Keller’s delicious food? Slip down the hall into the kitchen, and voila! Cue “Fanfare for a King’s Supper”.

The first taste was a butternut squash soup that was comforting, but not memorable compared to the luscious morsels to follow.

Perhaps the most delicious “doot” (as James Beard called them) was Keller’s take on a BLT — pork belly with pesto between two slices of butter-soaked grilled sourdough bread.

Rich short ribs in a dark demi glace were another favorite. The little squares of short ribs may have been on a mashed potato and parsnip puree, but the meat was so intense that anything else on the appetizer spoon was overshadowed.

The pommes frites were a hit with the crowd, and the paper cones were set in an adorable tiered display as well as offered around the dining room in a carnival-like cigarette girl tray. In fact, isn’t that a (truffled) popcorn machine over there? Along with the accordian player and chanteuse Morganne Picard’s silky voice, Bouchon was conjuring up memories of Paris’ Île de la Cité.

Other notable bites turned out by the kitchen were teensy croque monsieurs

croquettes, delicate pastries filled with mushroom duxelles, petit cod brandade, and canapés topped with foie gras quenelles, smoked salmon, or roast beef.

We ended up settling in the back hallways with out goods and some other bloggers (ahem) I mean food writers.

Ryan Seacrest was surprisingly friendly running into us in the back halls

Fred Savage is grinning like that because he just snaked some of my fries.

Down the hall as we were juggling plates, someone mentioned dessert. Dessert? Oh my God! Could there be any more delicious food left out there in the world? Or was it all here in this one building on this one night? Turning the corner into the prep area, we were dazzled by a delight of cookies. Signature TKOs, Keller’s interpretation of an Oreo, were shaped like adorable little daisies.

Their macarons are light as air. The crackle as the fragile outer shell barely breaks between your teeth and sucks up into a little ball of sugar is as satisfying as breaking the top of a creme brulee with the tip of your spoon.

Chocolate Bouchons

The last room was the bakery, where people were learning to fashion baguettes, a lucky few under the guidance of Thomas Keller himself. Comaraderie built as people waited in anticipation for their loaves to be turned out of the oven.

It was a friendly crowd all around, and we chatted with Cheryl Tiegs as easily as with the bartender. Walking out into the early winter cold with our gift bags, Eliza Doolittle could not have felt any more glamorous leaving her very first ball.

Jay Leno garages his cars near my house and I did have this conversation with him.

“Hi. We have almost gotten into like three crashes, so I thought I would introduce myself now so if it ever happens you know I’m a nice person.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. One time I was driving down Magnolia and this really bitchin’ car hung a crazy U-turn in front of me and almost caused a crash. Knowing that you collect bitchin cars, I shook my fist out the window and shouted, ‘Damn you, Jay Leno!” to be funny, but then you turned around and it was you…Another time – you own a car that is all silver, right?”

“Yes. I do.”

Well, I was driving east into the sun, which by the way, makes that car totally invisible, and I turned right in front of you onto Hollywood, barely missing you.”

“See? And did I shake my fist and yell damn you? no.”

The only thing that marred the evening is being interrupted by some kind of PR/manager/handler, requesting that I not take any pictures of Don Johnson. They checked and double-checked my credentials, making me very uncomfortable. I was thinking, “Really? Don Johnson? That’s what you are willing to die over?” But then he became my white whale and every time he passed, my camera finger itched until my friend had to warn me, “Don’t.”

Finally, as we were waiting at the valet, there was Don Johnson also waiting at the valet. My friend said, “If you go over and ask him to take his picture I’m leaving.”

Sigh. But as he jumped in his car, he looked at me, grinned and posed, flashing the peace sign. It was dark and we were moving, so the pic is blurry. But I got my white whale and Don Johnson proved himself to be ultracool.

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Having grown up in pubs, I consider myself an expert in fish and chipology. And Bass ale. Bassology. And making sculptures out of sawdust on the floor, but I haven’t done that since I was around 6 years old. Let’s start out with a quick stop at Robin Hood on Sherman Oaks in the Valley

Their version was voted one of the top 5 fish and chips in LA. OK, they were fifth out of five, but still not bad.

Entering the cool interior and cozying into a pew-like banquette brings me right back to the Loch Ness Monster Pub. The Bass is just the right temperature.

What sets apart the fish an chips? First off is flaky icelandic cod Some restaurants give you a choice of fish. The batter is very similar to the batter at The King’s Head, layers of flaky, crunchy coating reminiscent of tempura, panko crumbs (and as a Yelper once put it, crushed pork rinds).

According to Scran, the secret is rice flour and lots of alcohol. I haven’t tried out this recipe, but let me know if anyone has success with it.

So, use 200g plain flour and 200g white rice flour together with 300ml of lager, and 300ml vodka. The beer induces bubbles for extra crunch and the vodka will evaporate quickly to keep things crisp.

Make the batter for when you need it, otherwise the beer will go flat and you will have no benefit from the bubbles. Get everything whipped up, dip in the fish, then get the fish in the hot oil (220C and just enough oil to cover the fish). Drizzling batter little-by-little on top of the fish as the batter is getting crisp and firm will give you loads of crunchy flaky batter – tempura style!

After 1-2 minutes as the fish is getting golden, turn it over and drizzle batter on the other side for about a minute and that’s all it should take!

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I wandered into a Chinese place in Pasadena called Chinese Express a few weeks ago for a quick lunch. What I found was an eerie semblance of a Panda Express. Even down to the colors of the uniforms.

Mushroom Chicken

Chicken with Green Beans and Orange Chicken

Tofu and Japanese Eggplant

Even the vegetables are identical to Panda Express

The orange chicken had more breading. It was more like chicken donuts than chicken candy. Interestingly, the one dish that was not a Panda copy was the best – Chicken Curry.

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Whisky Live was a blast, trying to network, collect info, embarass myself, and not fall down all at the same time. “I feel so warm…this is fantastic, but do you have a pour bucket?”

Why whiskey has an E

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Yes, I am saying bites rather than meals, because most of the fantastic food I have eaten this year has been at foodie events. A few may be sips, not bites, but hey – who’s making the rules?

Speaking of rules, you may wonder what my criteria was. If I remembered something without having to think very hard and if I wished I could eat it right now it went on the list. Although some things were interesting, like Saddlepeak Lodge’s elk and Jitlada’s Fermented Catfish, I don’t necessarily want to make a meal out of them right now.

This not a top favorites of all time list — only things that were new to me this year. A “desert island” list would also look very different.

Sometimes it was hard not to put numerous bites from the same place. How can you choose between Rivera’s Tortilla Florales and Tequila Mujer? Or Bouchon’s Mac and Cheese and their pesto BLT bite? Choosing between RH’s Duck Confit, Beef Cheeks and Perigord Egg dish was tough. Almost everything Sherry Yard and Susan Feniger make could go on this list. Now, on with the show…

1. King Crab at Sun Sui Wah in Vancouver

2. Japadog in Vancouver

3. Blueberry-Banana Milkshake at The Elbow Room in Vancouver

4. Mama’s Sandwich at Campos in Philadelphia

5. Root Beer Float at Franklin Fountain in Philadelphia

6. Cream of Yellow Pepper Soup at Ca del Sol in Ensenada

7. Fried Chicken at Willie Mae’s Scotch House in New Orleans

8. Kaya Toast from Susan Feniger’s Street

9. Mortadella, Prosciutto di Parma, Salumi Salami & Aged Provolone Sandwich from Mozza2Go

10. Ceviche on a Plantain Chip from Smith Brothers Restaurants

11. Scallop on the half shell from East

12. Corn and Pasilla Custard at the San Antonio Winery

13. Dosa Fries from the Dosa Truck

14. Mac and Cheese at Bouchon

15. Perigourde poached egg with field mushrooms, foie gras and summer truffle at RH

16. Filet Mignon with Foie Gras at Le Saint-Raphael in Redondo Beach

17. Minestrone Soup at Campanile

18. Torta de Lengua from The Fig

19. Tuna carpaccio with wasabi soy truffle oil and Parmesan Cheese from Katana

20. Lavendar Shortbread from Craft

21. Tequila Mujer from Rivera

22. Chocolate Cookies from Sherry Yard

23. Sweet Potato Fries at Rush Street

24. Clam Fritters from Province

25. Prosciutto Sandwich from Giuliano’s in Torrance

26. Bacon-wrapped figs from Cafe W as

27. Passionfruit Marshmallows from Bazaar

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