Rock the Crockpot!

Our generation was never quite as obsessed with kitchen gadgetry as our parents were. Most people never seem to venture beyond a blender and a George Foreman Grill. After all, Margaritas and paninis can get you through your 20s just fine.

But maybe you are starting to get a little more excited by all of that shiny, shiny, chrome in the back aisle of Crate and Barrel.

One standard in your parent’s pantry is the good old crockpot. Don’t allow a few bland dinners of bygone days to tarnish its memory. This is a magic machine. It cooks while keeping the house cool on the warmest of days — we’re all a little tired of salads by now, aren’t we? And as the temperature drops, it is the perfect way to make the homey soups and stews of Autumn. You can even ignore it and it won’t burn the house down. I can’t even say that about a human child.

It’s still not quite soup weather, and a human child should never, ever be put in a crockpot, not even during Hide and Seek. So what’s cooking? How about a badass pulled pork sandwich from our neighbors in Tennessee?

Pulled Pork

3 to 4 pounds pork shoulder roast, boneless
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup white vinegar
1 chopped onion
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon Tabasco or similar hot pepper sauce
1 Tablespoon molasses
¼ cup brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons garlic, minced
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
¼ tsp dry mustard
1 cup ketchup
1/2 lemon, juiced

Throw all of this stuff in the crockpot, turn it on low, and give it a stir. You might want to add a little apple juice or water to cover the meat.

Now go master Guitar Hero, Twitter, get a hip hairstyle, hey, maybe go out and work all day. Whatever. The crockpot doesn’t give a damn what you do. Just go away for about 6 to 8 hours. The crockpot needs its alone time.

Shred the pork using 2 forks in a barbarian tearing motion. Toss the fat and bone if you find any. Serve with:

Hamburger buns
A little BBQ sauce (We like Sweet Baby Rays, ourselves)
Coleslaw. (Yes, On the sandwich. That’s right. Just do it. It will all make sense in a minute.)

About Kiki Maraschino

I like catfish. Sure, we all like catfish, but I think for me it is somehow deeper.
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6 Responses to Rock the Crockpot!

  1. e*star says:

    Oh YUM. I will have to try this!

  2. Miss K.P.-Ness says:

    You know I can complicate the most simple directions- so tell me wise KiKi- do I set the temp on my croc pot to low or high? keeping in mind that mine is new and works twice as fast as my old one?

  3. Kiki Maraschino says:

    I have noticed the newer crockpots run a lot hotter than the old ones.

    I usually put it in high at first to bring the meat up to a safe temperature quickly, then as soon as it is hot I turn it down to low.

    If you are just running out of the house and don’t have time for it to heat up, keep it on low.

    PS. Love your new avatar KP!!!

  4. Miss K.P.-Ness says:

    Thanks for answering my “stupid” question. It’s those detailed answers I need, stuff your Mom probably taught you but I never had that chance. I printed the recipe and I’m off to the store to purchase the things and stuff. I realise now that the instructions say “LOW” so you could have just as easily said “I know you don’t know how to cook- but have your forgotten how to read?” I’ll let you know if it turns out over here.

  5. Miss K.P.-Ness says:

    I did it! I did it! This recipe is so simple and yummy even I can do it. Thank you dear KiKi for the hand holding. Thank you for simplifying my complications. My family loved the pulled pork- Even the 9 year old boy who was a bit skeptical of the whole idea. We ate it for days- delicious! YOU ARE A FOOD GENIUS!

  6. Kiki Maraschino says:

    So glad it worked out. Now good luck with finding the top round – you can do it! Don’t forget the magic bay leaf to avoid total global destruction!

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